


All I Wanted Was A Fire Punch Ghastly

by ValenStar



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: JonadioWeek, M/M, One Shot, Pokemon AU, PokemonBreeder!Jona, Trainer!Dio, crossover with pokemon, hol horse is in this only briefly, light - Freeform, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7992355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValenStar/pseuds/ValenStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dio's stubborn Gengar is an ass about breeding, but is strangely cooperative at some no-name breeding centre in Hoenn... </p>
<p>Oh, it's a hot breeder that's Dio's type, of course.</p>
<p>(Jonadioweek day 5 prompt: crossover)</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Wanted Was A Fire Punch Ghastly

“Your price list said that it was two hundred dollars for one day,” Dio said through his teeth. “It didn’t say anything about charging extra for eggs.”

“Yeah, _so_? We changed it just this afternoon,” the old woman shot back. She raised a gray, wrinkly brow in mock question. “Also says here that we _‘reserve the right to change our conditions at any time’_ , blondie.”

A vein popped on Dio’s forehead. The damn old bitch was trying to scam him. She changed the fucking price list to fuck with him. He should’ve known that Hol Horse’s daycare recommendation would turn out to be shady.

“Well,” the old bitch started again, “If you don’t wanna cough up the extra three hundred, we’ll just keep the egg…” Her voice trailed off as she eyed Dio.

No. Fucking. Way. Was Dio going to leave without his egg. A whole month of trying to get his stubborn Gengar and Gardevoir to breed; travelling from daycare to daycare, having to put up with his Gengar’s shitty pranks to get back at him, and Gardevoir constantly shooting him disgusted looks(that pokemon was very capable of making him feel dirty). He needed a Ghastly with Fire Punch, goddammit. That stupid egg move was going to make him tear his hair apart.

Fuck if he was going to leave without _his_ egg.

Slamming a five-hundred bill on the dingy counter, Dio spat out: “Here.”

The oldie slipped the bill out from under his palm and sniffed at it, making a sick, euphoric face. “Ah…”

“My pokemon _and_ egg, please.”

“Of course, just one teeny moment.” She hobbled over to the back door of the daycare, with a grin plastered on to her face.

She appeared back five minutes later, which was far too long for Dio’s preference. What the hell did she even need to do behind? There was barely any pokemon trainers(besides himself, the idiot who went with Hol Horse’s advice) who would leave their pokemon in this suspicious, run-down daycare. Dio wouldn’t be surprised if his two pokemon were the only ones in the yard behind.

“Here ya go,” Oldie said as she dumped two pokeballs and a pokemon egg on the counter. Dio reached out immediately to grab the egg, checking it over for cracks. After making sure the egg was still smooth and unhurt, he grabbed his pokeballs.

Without needing to think, he pocketed one and released the other. Dia, his Gengar, popped out with a garbled “garr”.

The old daycare woman jumped in surprise. “H-Hey! Don’t just go around releasing your—”

“Listen here, woman,” Dio cut her off. He leaned over the counter and spoke in a low voice, laced with threat. “If I find out that _this_ egg… Didn’t come from _my_ pokemon…” Behind him, he could feel Dia looming over his shoulder, surely with her trademark feral grin and crazed eyes. Her body casted a dark shadow over his features. Well, at least he could always trust her to add the extra intimidation to his threats.

“Let’s just say that you don’t want to see my Gengar in a destructive mood,” Dio finished.

With that, he turned and walked out of the front doors, bristling with annoyance. He could see Dia poking her tongue out at the daycare woman before trailing after him.

_This egg better give me what I want,_ Dio thought. _This is the only daycare that got them to breed. I don’t want to have to go back._

~~~

“I have to go back to that damn daycare you recommended.”

“Hm?” Hol Horse looked up from his seat to see an angry-looking Dio Brando. “Ah, that’s great, Mister Brando!”

“No. Not great,” Dio hissed. “That place is rundown as fuck. I’m sure it’s breaking at least three pokemon health violations, and the old bitch at the counter scammed me.”

“Aw, Missus Brich ain’t that bad! I’m sure it’s just business for her. No hard feelin’s, yeah?”

“How the hell did she manage to get Dia to squeeze an egg out?”

Hol Horse grimaced at the image of the Gengar pooping eggs out. “I hear she recently employed a new guy to help out at the back. Good breeder, helped to up her business slightly.”

Dio thought back to the daycare yesterday. He didn’t see any signs of another employee at the godforsaken place, but it made sense that there was someone else working the yard behind.

“So, what ya goin’ back there for? I thought ya had an egg?” Hol Horse asked.

“It didn’t give me the egg move I require,” Dio clenched his teeth and darted his eyes to Dia, who was settled on Hol Horse’s table, stealing bites from his dessert. The hatched Ghastly not having Fire Punch wasn’t Dia’s fault at all, but if she had played _nicer_ at other daycares, he would’ve already gotten dozens of eggs at this point.

Hol Horse tried to reach out for his slice of cake, but retreated at Dia’s hiss. He settled for his cup of coffee. “Anyway, say hi to the old woman for me, yeah?”

Dio ignored him.

~~~

It was three days later when Dio returned to the Brich Daycare. The “Bitch Daycare”, he started calling it in his head. He tried returning to the other high-end daycares to get Dia and his Gardevoir to breed again, but was met with no eggs and full disappointment.

_Fuck it,_ he thought. Five hundred dollars was a scam, given the state of the Bitch Daycare, but not unaffordable.

The flimsy front doors of the daycare creaked open under his force. A wave of pokemon odour hit him, as it did the first time he entered. It was unlike the antiseptic, clean smell of five-star daycares. The ceiling fan whirred noisily, wobbling dangerously above Dio. He hurried to step away from beneath the fan.

The old bitch was at the counter. “Ah, back again, blondie?”

“Two pokemon,” Dio went straight to the point, placing two pokeballs on the counter. “And if there’s an egg, five-hundred dollars, right?”

“Of course, you can see very clearly on our price list here,” the old woman pointed to the price list, which was just a single, poorly printed A4-sized paper on the desk. “Please read the fine print, though! Do you need my glasses for it? You frown so much that I’m sure your eye muscles must be affected in some way! If you can’t read, it says that we reserve the right to—”

“I get it, woman,” Dio snapped.

The bitch had the nerve to snicker at him. She picked up the receiver from a telephone— _that wasn’t there when before_ , Dio noted—and shouted into it. “OI! WE GOT A CUSTOMER!”

Dio cringed at her shrilly voice and the slam of the receiver back down.

“Oh! Did you see our daycare’s newest addition?” She gestured to the telephone on the table. “It’s a telephone that connects to the backyard! That way I don’t have to haul my ass over to the back. I can just call for that boy”—Dio’s ears pricked up at the mention of that other employee who could handle Dia—“and do you wanna guess how much it cost?”

Dio stared resolutely at a spot on the wall; not meeting the old woman’s challenging eyes.

“Five. Hundred. Dollars,” she stressed every word.

_Goddamn this asshole._

“Hah! If all goes well, it looks like I’ll be making another five hundred by tomorrow!”

Dio was _this close_ to losing his mind and climbing over the counter to throttle the woman’s neck, if not for the back door opening. Dio’s red eyes snapped to the figure stepping into the reception area.

_What… The fuck…?_

“Jojo! Blondie here has a couple of pokemon for the day!” Dio could hear the old woman talking to the man who just stepped behind the counter, but he wasn’t processing anything she was saying.

_How… the fuck did the old bitch manage to get a_ god _to work under her?_

Said god, who just walked through the door, had a beautiful, boyish face, framed prettily by dark blue locks of hair. Dio swore he could _feel_ the man’s shirt straining against his muscles on his chest and arms and shoulders and wow—he also had some very nice, thick thighs. He was tall, meeting up to Dio’s height. There was rarely anyone who was as tall as him.

“’Blondie’…?” Beautiful Face glanced over at Dio, blinking once, twice, before his lips stretched and curved up, lighting up his face—the entire sight blindingly beautiful; Dio heart actually skipped a beat from that one word and smile.

_Great, he sounds like an angel too._

“May I take your pokemon into the back?” Adonis asked. Dio’s eyes followed every movement of his mouth, how he spoke and formed perfect sounds with his lips and tongue.

_You could take me to the back,_ Dio almost said, but he stiffened his jaw and swallowed down the words.

“Just take it and go,” Lady McBitch Face shoved the pokeballs into the Greek God’s hands and shooed him away. As he turned to walk back to the backdoor, Dio sneaked a peek down his body.

_Good god, they’re tight._

It looked like Mister Sweet Smile has a pair of very well-shaped cheeks on his bottoms as well.

“Hey!” A sharp voice accompanied with snapping fingers pulled Dio out of his thoughts. “If you’re done drooling all over my employee’s ass, remember to pick up your pokemon tonight!”

Dio scowled at Brich, who was already leaning back in her seat and indulging in a trashy pokemon magazine.

With an embarrassed grunt, Dio left the daycare, trying to shake away his stupid thoughts of that man’s large hands and heavy muscle.

~~~

Nine p.m.

Dio was late. He planned to collect his pokemon from Brich’s at seven, but he got so distracted by thoughts of that employee’s ass that his whole day was mistake after mistake.

Wild pokemon would either manage to run away from him, or he would knock them out on accident. He got into a huge fight with some biker gang on his trip around route 420; he cast them a dirty stare when they “accidentally” bumped into him, interrupting his fantasy of the hunk from earlier that morning. Of course, the biker gang used that his mere stare as an excuse for a pokemon battle, and needless to say, Dio wrecked them all. When they recklessly charged at him afterwards, thinking they could claim some victory over a physical fight, Dio wrecked them.

Pokemon battle or not, Dio was not one to lose in anything.

As a result of that useless fight, Dio was taken in for questioning by the police— _useless, useless, useless, police only can get their asses over when they can do nothing_ —and after they released him, it was already eight p.m. and the sun was down and he still had not had any dinner and his right wrist was still throbbing from the punches he gave—

Honestly, fuck his day. It started off kinda good with the revelation that the breeder handling his pokemon was the god of sexual desire, but has spiraled down ever since.

A quick trip to a convenience store and a lifetime of ugly bandaging of his wrist later, Dio rushed to the Bitch Daycare.

_Fuck, is it closed yet?_ Dio swore to himself. _It closes at nine-thirty, but I wouldn’t put it past the bitch to get lazy, close it up earlier, and claim more money from me tomorrow._

He turned past the street corner, and there it was. Bitch Daycare, still lighted up from within by cheap flickering florescent lights.

Dio heaved a sigh of relief as he walked through the same flimsy doors and wobbly ceiling fan from that morning. Only difference is, the old bitch at the counter wasn’t there.

“Ah! Welcome to Brich’s Daycare!” Angel Voice greeted him with a smile. The very same, blindingly beautiful smile from that morning. “Oh—You’re the customer from this morning!”

“I—Ahem—Yes,” Dio replied. _Smooth, Dio, nice going._

“Please wait a moment while I get your Gengar and Gardevoir,” Blue Eyes said politely, and went to the backyard. Dio let his eyes trail down to that well-rounded ass as it disappeared behind the door.

Hot Bod took two minutes before he came back in again, and in those two minutes, Dio’s mind was racing with ideas and plans to get him into bed. Or at least, his number first.

“Here you go, sir!” Dio’s Adonis placed two pokeballs and an egg on the counter. “Looks like you have another egg!”

A second egg in the second consecutive time he put Dia in this daycare. It was no pure luck—this hunk of a man could do _something_ to make Dia breed.

“Thank you,” Dio nodded appreciatively. “Five-hundred dollars, yes?” He slid a five-hundred bill over the counter and picked up his pokeballs.

Weighing them in his hands, Dio slipped one into his belt pocket and opened the other. Dia jumped out, all creepy smile and crazy eyes.

“Garr!” Dia leapt into his chest, snuggling deeply.

Dio grunted in response to her weight and force. What the fuck was Dia doing? She was never this affectionate towards him.

“Genn…” Dia tilted her face up from Dio’s chest. He swore he saw a familiar, mischievous twinkle in her eyes before she pushed off him, jumping across the counter and into… Mister Bara Tiddies’ chest.

“Oh!” Dio’s Hopeful-Shag-Of-The-Night gasped softly, then placed both hands around Dia, handling her delicately. Dia turned slightly, just enough to peep back at Dio, and there it was, that twinkle again, the very same twinkle she has when playing pranks and generally annoying the shit out of other people.

Having caught Dio’s attention, Dia turned back to the chest she was on and buried her face deeper.

_Oh, you sly piece of shit._

Dio forced a weak smile as he leaned over the counter to pull Dia off. He set her on the counter and cleared his throat. “I apologise, she’s usually not this… _friendly_ towards other people.”

“It’s no problem at all sir! She’s a pretty sweet Gengar, isn’t she?”

_Sweet?_ What the fuck kind of attitude was Dia displaying at the backyard of this daycare for someone to call her _sweet_?

“Excuse me, sir, but…”

Dio straightened up and schooled his face into his suave, “flirt-mode” expression.

“Is your right hand alright?”

_Shit._

One glance down at his hand told Dio that his poorly wrapped bandage was coming loose fast. “It’s nothing, just a scratch—”

“Please, wait here for a moment; I will be back with the first-aid kit!” Pretty Eyes insisted.

Before Dio could voice his consent, he was off into the backyard again, providing another pretty view for Dio to sink his eyes on.

“Gengarr…”

Dio shot a glare at Dia on the counter. She had her small paws on the front of her mouth, barely even concealing the glee on her face. It sounded like she was giggling maniacally.

“Don’t get any tricks up your sleeve…” Dio warned. That only made Dia’s grin stretch wider and her body tremble harder with excitement.

The backdoor creaked open and in came the hot employee again. Dio really had to get his name soon.

“You can come around the counter,” Sweet Cheeks beckoned him from behind the counter. “There’s a seat here.”

Dio stepped behind the counter and sat on lone seat, briefly narrowing his eyes at Dia to send her a message.

_DO. NOT. INTERFERE._

Dia swayed in her position and bounced lightly, but did not move closer.

“You’re too kind, Mister…?” Dio trailed off at the end of his sentence, prompting the man to look up from removing Dio’s bandages.

“Jonathan,” Jonathan beamed. “You may call me Jojo, everyone does!”

_Jonathan. Jo-na-than. Jonathan…. Jojo._ Dio echoed the name in his mind, liking the way it sounded.

“My name is Dio Brando,” Dio introduced himself.

“Mister Brando, if you don’t mind me asking…”

“Please, ‘Dio’ is just fine.”

“Ah… Dio,”—and a spark shot straight up Dio’s spine—“earlier on, you just released the pokeball without even looking at the names.”

What? When he released Dia?

“I trust that you would have handed me the right pokeball…”

“Oh, no! That’s not it, it’s just…” Jonathan shuffled with the bandages. “How did you know which pokeball your Gengar was in, without looking at the species names on the pokeball?”

“Hmm,” Dio looked over at Dia sitting at the counter. She was now lying on her back and doing her quirky habit of trying to reach for her toes. She could never do it, of course, her limbs too short to touch each other. “I’m used to her. I guess I could tell the difference between her pokeball and others.”

“That’s amazing,” Jonathan breathed out. Dio swiveled his head back to see Jonathan’s blue eyes looking at him in awe. He was even more beautiful up close. “Both of you must be best friends!”

Dio almost snorted at that. Sure, Dia is his first and longest pokemon, but he wouldn’t call pokemon _friends_. Pets that he got along with, yeah, but not friends.

Warm skin brushed against the tips of his fingers. Jonathan got his ugly bandages off and was holding on to Dio’s right hand, observing it. It was obvious from the tear on his knuckles that Dio didn’t merely get a scratch. To someone familiar with fights, it would be clear that the tearing on his knuckles were from a fistfight.

After a short while, Jonathan proceeded to clean Dio’s wounds and bandage them up again, not saying a word about the supposed “scratches”. Whether Jonathan knew or not, Dio was relieved to not have to explain anything.

“Mrs… _Brich_ went home early?” Dio cringed internally at saying the old bitch’s name.

“Yup, she left me to close up.”

“Are you the only other employee she has?”

“Mm-hmm,” Jonathan hummed and nodded as he finished the last, tight knot on Dio’s bandages. “There, all done.” He shot another smile at Dio. This time, Dio was close enough to see the way Jonathan’s thick eyebrows angled softly as he smiled, the way his eyes relaxed and his pupils dilated just a little bit, how the apples of his cheeks could be seen, and how flushed and pink his cheeks could get…

“Gen—Garr.”

Dio snapped out of his daze at Dia’s bored call. He realised that he had just stared at Jonathan’s face for a suspiciously long time… And that Jonathan was blushing for real.

“So, Jojo,” Dio drawled his words with a sensual smile. “Are you going to close up soon?”

“Y-Yes, it’s almost nine-thirty now…”

“Are you going anywhere after that?” Dio got up from the seat and leaned in closer to Jonathan, loving the way the tips of Jonathan’s ears burned red.

Jonathan visibly gulped and tilted his head to the side, out of embarrassment. That movement only provided Dio with a better view of his ears. Oh, how Dio wished he could sink his teeth into those ear lobes…

_Grrooawwwwl._

Jonathan’s eyebrows shot up as he regarded Dio with mild surprise. His eyes darted down to look at Dio’s stomach—which was betraying him in this very important moment—making sounds that filled Dio’s cheeks with blood. It seemed like the tables had turned and it was Dio’s turn to turn red.

Time seemed to stand still for the next ten seconds.

It was Dia who broke the silence, with her cackling laughter. “Gahh—! Gen—Gengarrh—! Gagagagagagarh!” was how her laughter went.

_Fuck,_ Dio cursed.

_Fuck it all, fuck this entire day._

Then, Jonathan let out a few giggles of his own. He raised his right hand to hide his smile, and said to Dio: “I was thinking of supper, maybe?”

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea of breeder!jona and then just wrote this first part and when I wanted to continue I couldn't think up of a good plot to follow TwT  
> But I'm pretty happy with what I already wrote so here... It's just a one shot OTL


End file.
